


Relief

by AoiTsukikage



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:11:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoiTsukikage/pseuds/AoiTsukikage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you okay?" Arashi asks softly, and Izumi knows it's useless to lie to all of them even though he wants to. </p><p>"Honestly, no. I won't be until he comes back," he stuffs his hands in his pockets and stalks out of the room, seeing that Tsukasa is actively trying to avoid eye contact with him. </p><p>So now the others think he's weak and the newbie thinks he's unstable. </p><p>Great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was mostly inspired by a couple of Ritsu's lines in the new event (so there are some mild spoilers for that and for the main story within), namely the ones about how it threw Izumi 'off-balance' when Leo disappeared and that he'll 'calm down a bit' if Leo comes back. And somehow...this happened. 
> 
> I realize that the content of the fic isn't for everybody and while there won't be any explicit sexual content until the last chapter, the rating is more for the nature of this piece in general.

"You went too far this time."  
  
"Huh?" Izumi shakes his head groggily, trying to pull himself out of the stupor he seems to be trapped in. It's not the nice kind of brain fogginess where he feels so content and safe that he doesn't want to leave, but rather the one that makes him scared and anxious and unsettled. "What..."  
  
"Kidnapping and forcible confinement? You're lucky Makoto-chan is a nice boy and doesn't want to bring the law into this," he can hear the displeasure in the voice and it makes him cower back instinctively, trying to raise his hands to cover his face before he realizes he can't.   
  
"Let me go," his voice comes out strained and scared, breath speeding up as he figures out why everything is so dark: he's restrained and blindfolded and unable to get away.   
  
"We can't do that and you know it," another voice reaches his ears, this one bored and more than a little irritated. "Really, Secchan, this is getting ridiculous."  
  
"Ah, I didn't think it had gotten this bad yet," the first voice says with a heavy sigh. "We should have kept a closer eye on him."  
  
"Is it...okay to leave him like this?" a third voice breaks in. "It seems rather..."  
  
"We don't have much choice, really. And it's not as if he doesn't like it," there's a soft, breathy laugh and Izumi flinches a little as he feels fingers stroking gently down his cheek. He presses against the touch instinctively once he calms down, telling himself that he's safe, that they're not going to hurt him.   
  
"Good boy," a dark chuckle comes from the other side of the room. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Better," Izumi admits with a sigh, sitting back and relaxing into the bonds. "Yuu-kun, is he..."  
  
"Fine. A little shaken up, understandably, but Anija and that one boy from his unit managed to figure things out before they got too out of hand."  
  
"You never wanted to hurt him," the hand moves from his cheek to his hair, stroking slowly. "I know you better than that, Izumi-chan."  
  
"I love him. I'd never..." Izumi sinks down a little further, now feeling nothing but shame. "Am I in trouble?"  
  
"Not as much as you could have been," is the reply, followed by a yawn. "You're forbidden from doing lives for the time being, and..."  
  
"And what?" Izumi feels the panic rising again. "Tell me."  
  
"And your interim leadership position has been revoked," the first voice replies. "That's my job now."  
  
Izumi lets out a desperate sound that's almost a sob, pressing against the hand again and feeling undeniable relief course through his body.   
  
He'd tried, he'd tried so _hard_ , but somehow he always knew he wasn't right for the job. He needed somebody to lead _him_ , so it was a doomed endeavour from the start, but he still had to try.   
  
He can't even be mad at himself for failing, because this...this is finally something he _can_ handle.   
  
"Sh-should we not untie him?"  
  
"Secchan? You want out?"  
  
"No," Izumi shakes his head, feeling himself pulled against a strong chest and leaning his head back. "I'm good for now."  
  
"How..."  
  
"Secchan has...needs," is the brusque reply, and Izumi's lips quirk up a little at that description. "All of us have it within us inherently, though for most it never manifests itself as more than a vague preference to either be a leader or a follower. But sometimes it's more than that."  
  
"Is that not dangerous? Perhaps he should be..."  
  
"No. I don't hurt people," Izumi feels his chest tightening again and tries to focus on the soft words being murmured in his ear, the gentle hands touching his hair and shoulders and keeping him grounded. It works, thankfully, but the feeling still hasn't gone away and knowing that the brat is seeing him like this...  
  
"You did, though. Almost," is said on the tail end of another yawn. "And we can't really pretend that didn't happen."  
  
"How do we control him?"  
  
"Stop talking about me like I'm some sort of fucking monster," Izumi growls, but it's mostly half-hearted because he actually feels good right now. "Mm, keep doing that," he mumbles, hearing a tiny laugh. "Naru-kun..."  
  
"I'm here," Arashi promises, still touching him. "Do you want the blindfold off?"  
  
"Yeah," Izumi nods, blinking a second later when the bright light of the room hits him. "Ugh."  
  
"Welcome back," Ritsu's lounging rather casually on a chair, his red eyes impassive as he stares at Izumi.   
  
"How long was I...?" he pauses, not sure if he really wants to know.   
  
"A couple of hours. It's probably dinnertime now," Arashi replies softly. "When we found you, you just had this...blank look on your face and we knew."  
  
"Ou-sama should have told us," Ritsu sniffs, getting off of the chair and wandering leisurely over. "I mean, we knew you two had a thing, but we would have done something sooner if..."  
  
"I should have been able to handle it," Izumi frowns, the almost blissful feeling fading quickly and being replaced with guilt again. "I guess I'm just too fucking weak."  
  
"It's not weakness," Arashi murmurs, and normally Izumi would be annoyed at being pitied but he can't bring himself to get that angry right now. "You're not meant to be a leader, Izumi-chan. Taking that on all by yourself and being worried about disappointing Ou-sama was too much for you. It would be too much for a lot of people."  
  
"That doesn't make me feel better," Izumi grumbles, flexing his wrists a little. The bonds are becoming more irritating than secure and it's getting uncomfortable. "Can I get out now?"  
  
"Yeah," Arashi shifts and a few seconds later Izumi feels whatever is holding his wrists together release. He pulls his hands in front of him, staring down at them blankly. "We had to use your belt."  
  
"Whatever," he grunts, grabbing it from Arashi and sighing. "I'm gonna go home."  
  
"We think you should stay with one of us tonight," Ritsu crosses his arms. "Probably me, since I'm stronger at night, and while I hate to admit that Anija is good for anything…he's probably strong enough to handle you."  
  
" _Whatever_ ," Izumi repeats, standing up and replacing the belt. He feels exhausted despite having been apparently blacked out for the last couple of hours, and quite frankly as long as he has a bed he doesn't care _where_ he sleeps. "Let's just go."  
  
"Are you okay?" Arashi asks softly, and Izumi knows it's useless to lie to all of them even though he wants to.   
  
"Honestly, no. I won't be until he comes back," he stuffs his hands in his pockets and stalks out of the room, seeing that Tsukasa is actively trying to avoid eye contact with him.   
  
So now the others think he's weak and the newbie thinks he's unstable.   
  
Great.   


000

  
"You know this isn't necessary," Izumi sits on Ritsu's bed, wearing borrowed pyjamas and feeling more than a little scrutinized. "I'm not going to do something stupid like that again."

"We didn't think you would the first time," Ritsu shrugs. "Obviously you were good at hiding how badly off you were, so we want to prevent that from happening again."

"Get on with it, then," Izumi sniffs, crossing his arms and waiting for Ritsu to make a move. 

"You know, I'm plenty strong enough to keep you in line overnight if you just want to sleep," he replies thoughtfully. "I'll be awake for most of it anyway."

"So?" Izumi frowns, not sure what he means by that. 

"So you can just go to sleep whenever you want," Ritsu has a tiny smile on his face, tapping his fingers idly on the sheets. "Of course, if you actually _want_ to be restrained..."

Izumi looks up at the ceiling, trying to keep his temper in check because Ritsu's just being irritating now. "Yes," he finally says from between gritted teeth, knowing that if he doesn't admit it outright Ritsu will probably just tease him all night. 

"Hmm, what was that? You want me to tie you up?" Ritsu asks lightly, sliding open the drawer on the bedside table and pulling out a few lengths of rope (and yeah, Izumi's not even going to ask, since he's mostly figured out by now that the Sakuma brothers are just really fucking _weird_ so of _course_ Ritsu would have rope in his room). 

"You heard me," Izumi swallows, his heart already starting to beat a little faster. 

"What do you want me to do?" Ritsu thankfully stops being aggravating, voice steady and serious now. 

"If you just tie my wrists, that's fine," he shrugs, glancing across the room. 

"But you want more," Ritsu reaches out, placing his fingers lightly under Izumi's chin and turning his head until their eyes met. "Secchan, when was the last time you let somebody do this to you?"

"Before Ou-sama..." he sighs. "Before he left. I try to do it myself sometimes but it's not the same and I can't..."

"It's not the same if you know you can get out, right?" Ritsu sounds understanding and not like he's belittling Izumi at all, but it's still a little embarrassing to admit everything like this. "You don't have to be ashamed," he continues. "Just tell me what you want."

"I want to just...feel safe. Like I can't move. I want to just...stop thinking for a while," he closes his eyes. 

"Okay. I know I'm not him, but you trust me, right?"

"I mean, you drink blood for kicks so it's probably a bad idea, but yeah,” he admits. "I do."

"Do you want your wrists behind you or in front of you?" Ritsu takes his hand and Izumi opens his eyes a little to look at him. It's not the same, of course. Leo makes him feel safe in a way that almost nothing else in his life ever has, and Ritsu...Ritsu can be cold sometimes, and intense, and Izumi doesn't know whether or not to believe that he's really a vampire but there are moments where he almost feels...not quite _human_. Arashi, on the other hand, is a little too kind and warm to satisfy him fully, and while he needs what both of them can offer at times, Leo can give him everything at the _same_ time. 

That's what he needs more than anything, and it's harder than he could have ever imagined to have had it taken from him so suddenly. 

"Secchan?" Ritsu asks softly.  Izumi knows he can be gentle, just as Arashi can be cold and harsh given the right situation, but somehow it's still not the same. "What do you need?"

"Behind," he clears his throat, shifting his arms behind his back. "I want to feel it."

"I can't go too tight, you know," Ritsu's movements don't seem hesitant and Izumi can tell there's enough slack in the ropes that it's not going to be dangerous for him, but they're still tight enough that he's not going to forget about them. "Is that good?"

"Yeah," he nods, shoulders slumping forward. "Can you do my legs?"

"Lie down," Ritsu steadies his arm and helps him to shift so his head is on the pillow, tying his ankles together and using the last rope around his thighs. He can still bend his knees, but otherwise he feels more secure than he has in weeks. "Good?"

"Yeah," he moves to get comfortable, shivering a little. "Thanks, Kuma-kun," he mumbles, and Ritsu strokes his hair and laughs quietly. 

"You're welcome," he pulls the blanket up over Izumi and Izumi snuggles against the pillow, yawning a little. He hasn't been sleeping well lately so this already feels nice. "Do you need anything else?"

" 'm good," he promises. "You're being freakishly nice, though. Especially after what happened today," he closes his eyes, because it’s still making him feel horribly guilty to think about it. 

"I know that's not really you. You were under so much pressure and we should have helped you...he would want us to help you, and it's the least I can do now to try," Ritsu murmurs, the gentle lilt to his voice relaxing Izumi even farther. It's quiet, he realizes with a bit of amazement. His mind isn't racing the way it usually does, and that's perhaps the biggest relief of all. 

Izumi rolls his shoulders back, feeling the ropes against his arms and smiling a bit. In a way, he's almost… _glad_ things happened the way they did, if only because he would never have been able to let go of his pride enough to actually ask for help otherwise. 

"Hey, Secchan?"

"Yeah?" Izumi asks, feeling peaceful enough now that he'll probably answer anything. 

"You and Ou-sama...was this like...a sexual thing?" Ritsu sounds half curious and half like he really doesn't want to know if the answer is yes, and Izumi has to smile more at that. 

"No. I mean, it could be, and it does kind of...you know," he clears his throat. "It's not like my body doesn't react to it, but it was never really like that. It's intimate, but that was it."

"Mm," Ritsu keeps idly stroking his hair. "So it's just about feeling..."

"Safe. Yeah," Izumi nods, his current relaxed state obviously making him more prone to talking. "He was the first person in...maybe forever...to make me feel like I belonged somewhere and that somebody wanted me."

"Must be nice," Ritsu doesn't sound especially bitter but the words do, and Izumi manages to wiggle enough that he can rest his cheek on Ritsu's thigh. He's not really prone to comforting people, but Ritsu's going out of his way to help him right now so he should probably return the favor somewhat. "Don't mind me," he laughs under his breath, his hand resting on Izumi's shoulder now. "You should sleep, Secchan."

"I will," Izumi promises, and he has a feeling he'll be able to sleep better tonight than he has since Leo disappeared. "Are you staying?"

"I've got homework," Ritsu looks put-out at that, but eventually he shrugs. "Do I need to worry about you?"

"You shouldn't," Izumi decides, flexing his wrists again. "It feels loose enough," he closes his eyes, barely stirring when Ritsu carefully lifts him and moves him so that he's lying on the pillows again. 

"Do you need a blindfold?" Ritsu tugs the blanket up again and Izumi sighs sleepily. 

"If it's dark that's okay," he mumbles, almost sleeping already, and after that it doesn't take him long to fall asleep entirely.  


000

  
"Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Nn?" Izumi blinks his eyes open, going to stretch before realizing that he can't, and that knowledge makes something warm and pleasant settle in his stomach. He strains against the ropes, sighing happily. 

"You really love that, huh?"

"Naru-kun?" he knows it's Arashi, since nobody else _feels_ quite like Arashi does. "Why are you here?"

"Ritsu-chan called me since he falls asleep at dawn," Arashi chuckles. "We figured it would be safer for somebody awake to be here with you."

He can feel a warmth at his back and tries to look over his shoulder, seeing messy dark hair before he flops down again. 

"How was your night?"

"Good. Really good, actually," he concedes, knowing he'll be rested and alert for once. It's the best sort of feeling, still floating in the sensation of being safe and restrained but with his head completely clear. 

"You seem happier, anyway," Arashi tugs at his hair and Izumi growls, not really able to do anything else to stop it. "I think I like you like this. You can't throw things at people."

"You're annoying," Izumi replies, even though he's completely pliant under the affectionate touches and he knows Arashi can tell. 

"And you're an extremely bad liar," Arashi replies with a chuckle. "But you should get up and shower if you don't want to be late."

"Am I even allowed to go to school?" Izumi yawns, thinking that he'd really rather _not_ go to school because he could easily stay here all day. 

"You're only suspended from doing performances," Arashi reminds him, frowning a second later. "Although they never exactly told us how long that would apply for. I'll talk to Kunugi-sensei later and ask him!" This is said in a considerably brighter and more excited tone that makes Izumi roll his eyes. 

"You mean you'll _flirt_ with Kunugi-sensei later," Izumi raises an eyebrow and Arashi sniffs in a rather put-upon way.

"You're not really in any position to talk back to me, Izumi-chan. Maybe you need a gag, too..."

And Izumi means to have a scathing reply to that, he _really_ does, but he just kind of lets out a helpless groan and Arashi's eyes widen. 

"You'd _like_ that, wouldn't you? You're such a dirty boy," Arashi's smirking and Izumi really, _really_ hates himself right now because giving Arashi more ammunition to tease him with is something he normally tries to avoid. 

"Could you two be a little quieter? Some of us are trying to sleep," Ritsu grumbles from behind Izumi, the bed shifting as he sits up. 

"You should be awake anyway if we all want to get to school on time," Arashi reaches over Izumi and pulls Ritsu's eye mask off, causing him to hiss rather loudly. "Come on, let's get you untied," this is directed to Izumi, who manages to get himself into a sitting position. 

He can feel Arashi working at his wrists before the rope falls away, already missing the feeling of it when he brings his hands around to the front and stretches his arms out. Getting his leg ties off is easy enough once his hands are free and he kicks the ropes aside, flopping back to lie spread-eagled on the bed. 

Ritsu's snoring softly again and Arashi seems resigned to the fact that they're probably not going to make it to school on time, settling beside Izumi and stroking his hair back in smooth, rhythmic motions. 

"Naru-kun?"

"Mm?"

"Do you guys...do you get the way I do? Where you just need..." he's not sure why he's asking other than that, despite having some sort of relationship with Leo, they'd never really talked about what it was like for him. Izumi assumed he must get something from it to keep doing it so willingly, but he'd never thought to ask. 

"Not as pressing, at least not for me," Arashi replies thoughtfully. "Obviously I get something out of helping people and making them happy, which is why I try so hard to make sure people are included and able to reach their full potential, but it doesn't really matter _who_ those people are in the end as long as the outcome is the same."

Izumi nods, able to understand somewhat, and it explains why Arashi's so damn desperate to keep them all together and doing things as a unit instead of always going their own ways. 

"Kuma-kun?" he reaches back and swats Ritsu's hip, getting a sleepy whine in response. "What about you?"

"Not really. I have my own ways of keeping satisfied," Ritsu mumbles vaguely and Izumi figures that's probably all he'll get from him, unhelpful as it may be. 

"So you and Ou-sama...were the two of you..." Arashi's drawing vague patterns on the sheets with the tip of one long finger, looking at Izumi expectantly. 

"Why are you both so obsessed about knowing whether or not we're together?" Izumi closes his eyes. "No, we weren't sneaking off to get it on in kinky ways," he finally admits, and that's not a lie. 

He doesn't know _what_ he and Leo are, really, and there seems to be a growing list of things they probably should have talked about but never got around to. 

Now he might not ever get that chance. 

"But you want to be," Arashi teases, and this time Izumi's perfectly capable of throwing something so he grabs a pillow and launches it, hearing a rather unholy shriek and something about ‘do you have _any_ idea how long it takes to perfect my hair?!’ before Arashi bodily tackles him, causing him to fall half onto Ritsu. 

That's about when the door opens, and thinking back on it later Izumi realizes that the three of them tangled up with ropes lying all over the bed probably would look rather suspicious to anybody who just happened to walk in. 

"Uh. I was just coming to get Ritchan up but...I see he already is..."

Izumi recognizes him as one of the Trickstar boys, and he can feel the guilt settling heavily on his shoulders again. 

"Hey," Arashi whispers in his ear, arms wrapped around him tightly. 

"We'll meet you in the kitchen, okay, Maa-kun?" Ritsu calls, and Izumi peeks out from around Arashi's shoulder to see the other boy nod quickly and close the door. "Sorry. I forgot to mention he's my alarm clock."

"It's fine," Izumi pushes himself away from Arashi and clears his throat. "Is he...like me?" he asks softly, because something about the kid's demeanour was rather telling. 

"Honestly, I think he would run away if I ever suggested tying him up," Ritsu laughs. "But I suppose in a way, he is. He likes taking care of people and, well, I like being spoiled, so it works out," he bares his fangs and Izumi wonders briefly what it would be like to _not_ have the needs he has. 

It's just a pain for everybody involved, really, and he wouldn't be surprised if Leo never came back just so he wouldn't have to deal with that again. 

"Chin up, Izumi-chan," Arashi says gently. "We want to help you, okay? You're not a burden, I promise."

Izumi doesn't really believe that but he nods anyway, knowing that he can hardly sink any lower in their eyes. 

Well, he's still feeling better than he has for the last few weeks, so at least he can hold onto that for the time being. 

Right now, it's all he has. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have other fics I should be working on but when an idea hits me sometimes it's impossible to put it on the back-burner and that's what happened here! I'm not anticipating this to be more than two or three chapters long, but we'll see how it goes since I keep coming up with more scenes that can be added. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment if you're so inclined, and if you want to check out my [twitter](http://twitter.com/_mikarashis), you're welcome to do that as well!


	2. Chapter 2

"Open up."  
  
"This is entirely unnecessary."  
  
He opens his mouth anyway, accepting the piece of karaage and chewing slowly before he swallows. It's good, although he'll never admit it, and despite his rather strict self-imposed diet he knows that he _should_ technically be eating more than he is.   
  
So that's not the unnecessary part, but that Arashi has decided to take advantage of his current state by actually feeding him? _That's_ the unnecessary part.   
  
"We both know you won't eat otherwise," Arashi shifts in his lap, pressing him against the back of the chair, and Izumi takes a deep breath and gasps at the tightness around his chest. "Is it too much?"  
  
"No," Izumi closes his eyes, breathing out slowly and feeling the ropes loosen. "Fuck, that feels amazing..."  
  
Arashi lets out a relieved little hum, moving back slightly. "Just tell me if it starts to hurt."  
  
"I will," Izumi promises, although he knows he can get away with more...restrictive bondage when he's awake and aware of his body. Arashi, he's discovered, has a bit of a sadistic streak and is all too happy to accommodate Izumi when he needs it. And, unlike with Leo, he knows that Arashi's not the type to do anything without wanting to so Izumi doesn't even feel too guilty about it.  
  
"Keep eating," Arashi holds up another piece of chicken, far enough away that Izumi has to strain forward to reach it.   
  
"You're having too much fun with this," he says once he's eaten it, getting a rather sly look in return.   
  
"Because I know how much you enjoy it," Arashi replies with a shrug. "And it actually gets you to eat, so that's two good things."  
  
"Mm," Izumi isn't going to argue either point, and as he chews the last piece of chicken he thinks about how things really have been...better, lately.   
  
He doesn't like lying to his parents, but they were used to him staying over at Leo's so getting them to agree to him spending the night at Ritsu's at least a couple of days a week wasn't that hard (Ritsu somehow managed to charm them and Izumi's still a little confused by that since 'charming' is _not_ one of Ritsu's default modes). So between that and time after practice or lunch or whenever they have a free moment, he's _almost_ content.   
  
Almost, because no matter how much Arashi and Ritsu want to help, they're still not Leo. And that's not something that can be helped without, well, Leo coming back.   
  
"I think I should get you out of this soon," Arashi mentions while he's still lost in thought, and Izumi glances down and wiggles his fingers. They still feel warm so he's not too worried, but where Ritsu's rather methodical and practical about what he'll do to Izumi, Arashi seems eager to experiment and so far hasn't been put off by anything Izumi's asked for.   
  
In this case, that 'something' is being tied to a chair after practice, ankles secured to the legs of the chair and wrists roped to the bar connecting the back of the chair to the seat. There's another length of rope looped around both his chest and the chair back, holding his arms to his body and keeping him nearly immobile.   
  
"I'm okay, Naru-kun," he says honestly. "If you have somewhere to be, though..."  
  
"Nope. I'm all yours," Arashi replies sweetly and Izumi rolls his eyes. "Or, I guess you're all mine."  
  
" _Way_ too much fun with this," Izumi repeats, and he's about to say more when movement by the door catches his eye. He freezes, because this would _not_ be a good thing for a teacher to walk into, and Arashi notices, turning to look behind them.   
  
"Ah, I heard noises and was wondering who was still in our practice room so late," Tsukasa looks mortified. "I'll leave you two alone..."  
  
"Kasa-kun," Izumi's voice stops him, at least, and that in itself is encouraging.   
  
The truth is, Izumi really _does_ need to talk to him, since having Tsukasa look at him like he's some sort of freak isn't really helping them to get closer as a unit and Izumi can tell that Tsukasa isn't comfortable around him at the moment.   
  
"Yes, senpai?" Tsukasa asks formally, not turning around. "Do you require something of me?"  
  
"Come back here and let's work this out," he clears his throat. "Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. I can't, really, since I can't move," he adds, hearing Arashi's low chuckle at the words.   
  
"That's perfectly alright, Sena-senpai. I don't believe we have anything to discuss," Tsukasa sounds dismissive and Izumi sighs heavily.   
  
"Get over here, you shitty brat."  
  
He's trying to rile Tsukasa up and it works, because the younger man turns instantly, but Izumi can see the discomfort on his face the moment they actually make eye contact.   
  
"Talk to him, Tsukasa-chan," Arashi urges, standing and picking up the empty karaage container. "I'll be right outside the door if you need me, okay?"  
  
"I...suppose it would not hurt," Tsukasa finally concedes, though Izumi's willing to bet that it's more Arashi's request than his own that's made him agree.   
  
"Thank you," Arashi smiles, patting Tsukasa on the shoulder before walking out of the room. Tsukasa moves another chair closer once the door is closed, sitting down on it stiffly.   
  
"So. What's your problem with me?" Izumi looks at him. "I'm the same person I was when we met, even if you didn't know this about me then."  
  
"That's just it, though. I do not understand why this...this is necessary," he gestures toward Izumi.   
  
"Because it feels good," Izumi shrugs the best he can. "That's really all there is to it. People do a lot of different things to calm themselves down or whatever. I'm sure if I started meditating you wouldn't have an issue," he points out, and Tsukasa gives him a rather level look that says without any words necessary that the two things aren't comparable. "You know what I mean."  
  
"So if I were to..." Tsukasa gets up and steps forward, reaching out and touching Izumi's shoulder. His fingers are trembling and Izumi keeps himself still, letting him do whatever he needs to. "You truly...feel good?"  
  
"Seriously, do you think I'd do this if I didn't want to?" Izumi gives him a steady look and Tsukasa smiles a little, shaking his head.   
  
"No. You're rather stubborn about only doing things you find worthwhile," he takes his hand away. "I'm afraid I still do not truly understand, but it also isn't my place to judge."  
  
"Look, I don't really care what you think of me as long as it doesn't get in the way of Knights being able to function as a unit," he admits. "Can you handle working with somebody like me?"  
  
"I..." Tsukasa breathes out slowly through his nose and reaches to lightly grip Izumi's chin, looking at him directly. And Izumi can feel it, feel the same sort of authority and commanding air that Leo has. It's undeveloped, and Tsukasa's too young and unsure of himself yet to be the kind of leader that Leo is, but it's there. "What would be expected of me?"  
  
"Nothing," Izumi replies softly. "I mean, if you want to help out, you can, but otherwise you don't have to do anything."  
  
"I think...I would not mind as much as I initially thought," he admits. "And I do have to admit that seeing you like this makes you a bit less intimidating."  
  
"Yeah, well," Izumi rolls his eyes. "You didn't have to be afraid of me in the first place, brat."  
  
Tsukasa lets out a tiny laugh at that and slides his hand away. "Do you require assistance getting free?"  
  
"Nah, you can go. Just call Naru-kun back in," he decides, since Tsukasa might be more okay with it than he had been, but it's still probably better to take it slow.   
  
"As you wish. I'll see you tomorrow, Sena-senpai," he nods and walks quickly out of the practice room, the door closing for a few seconds before Arashi pulls it open and comes back in.   
  
"He looks happier."  
  
"I think we worked it out," Izumi admits, glancing down when Arashi bends to start undoing the ropes. "Can you do my hands last?"  
  
He only gets a hum in response but it's probably agreement, so he relaxes and lets his mind drift while the ropes fall away.   
  
"Izumi-chan?"  
  
"Yeah?" he pulls himself out of his thoughts as Arashi starts untying the bonds around his chest.   
  
"Doing this sort of thing...I could see how it would be intimate. How it could...make a person feel special and beautiful to have that attention paid to them," Arashi sounds thoughtful and Izumi knows that both of them realize that there's a big difference between _being_ beautiful and _feeling_ beautiful. As models they have a lot of experience with the former, but the second one's a lot harder to come by.   
  
"It does. He always made me feel beautiful," Izumi will never tell Leo this, of course, since he still really has no idea how Leo feels about him, but Arashi isn't going to spill his secrets so it's okay to be honest for once.   
  
"Hmm," Arashi moves onto his wrists. "I know somebody else that deserves to feel that way."  
  
It's said so quietly that Izumi isn't sure if he was supposed to hear it, and while he doesn’t know who Arashi’s referring to, it’s really none of his business in the end.  
  
"Look, just don't tell them you want to tie them up right away because it'll scare them off," he pulls his hands free and rubs his wrists, though he doesn't really need to since there aren't even any marks. "If you want the truth, you're pretty good at this. Even if you take a little _too_ much pleasure in tying me up," he adds with a smirk.   
  
"Only because it's you and you're fun to tease, darling," Arashi ruffles his hair before standing up. "You'll be okay for tonight?"  
  
"Yeah," Izumi actually has to head home for once because his parents are driving him to a photoshoot in the morning. "This'll be enough to last me for a bit."  
  
"Good," Arashi smiles, waiting for Izumi to get up and packing up the ropes. They walk out of the school together, Izumi feeling full and sated in more ways than one.   
  
Nothing’s ever going to change how utterly annoying he finds Arashi, of course, but he's grateful to his fellow model just the same.   


000

  
Things continue on as well as can be expected for a couple of months, until one day when Arashi's busy and can't come to Ritsu's to wake them up early. Izumi hadn't thought to set an alarm, mostly because he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it once it went off, but he doesn't think about anything being strange until he hears an unfamiliar voice at the door.

"Ritchan, we're gonna be late, you need to..." the voice trails off and Izumi realizes that not only is he in bed with Ritsu, but he's still completely bound and unlike last time when at the very least they were all awake and he was untied this is going to be _much_ harder to explain. 

And that more than anything makes him panic, because his Knights knowing is one thing, but a kid from another unit...Yuu-kun's unit, no less...isn't something he's okay with. 

"Huh?" Ritsu yawns, though he wakes up fairly quickly when he realizes what's going on. "Easy," he murmurs, wrapping an arm around Izumi and holding him still. Izumi knows he's panicking and he tries to calm down, tries to slow his breathing and not think about what this kid is going to say...if he's going to tell Yuu-kun...if...

"What...am I looking at here?" 

"It's a long story and we don't have time for that," Ritsu pats Izumi's shoulder and sits up. "Can you keep a secret?"

"I'm not sure if I want to if it involves him," his tone is scathing and Izumi can't blame him, not after what happened. 

"For me, then?" Ritsu's voice turns almost sickly-sweet and Izumi can tell immediately that he's got the same sort of thrall over this boy that Leo has over him. "Help us out here?"

"What do I need to do?" the boy walks over hesitantly, the look on his face halfway between surprise and discomfort when Ritsu pulls the blankets back. "Uh. This isn't normal."

Izumi ducks his head, trying not to make eye contact. It pulls at his arms and he tries to focus on that feeling instead of how utterly ashamed he is. 

They'd done something a little differently last night, adding another length of rope connecting his ankles and wrists so that he wasn't able to stretch his legs out fully. It was comfortable enough to sleep in, but now he can't even really turn around to hide and it makes him feel incredibly vulnerable. 

"Just help me get him untied," Ritsu starts at his ankles, working quickly and pulling the ropes apart. "Is that okay, Secchan?"

"Okay," he mumbles, since he doesn't have much of a choice. He closes his eyes and shivers, flinching instinctively when he feels the other boy touch his arm. 

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you," his voice is mild. "That doesn't mean I forgive you, but..."

"I don’t forgive myself," Izumi mutters. "So I don’t expect it from anybody else."

"Okay," the guy sounds a little surprised, like he'd thought Izumi would actually be _fine_ with what he'd done. Apparently they all just think of him as a monster with no conscience, even though that's probably how he came off at the time. 

Izumi yanks his arms away as soon as he's free, wrapping them around himself and curling into a ball. 

"Secchan," Ritsu sighs, touching his shoulder. "You need to shower if we want to make it to school."

"I know," Izumi forces himself to open his eyes and sit up. "I...don't think I can, though..." he feels exhausted despite just waking up and his mind is too muddled for him to focus properly.

"Yes, you can," Ritsu's voice is firm and Izumi looks up blearily. "You're on thin ice with the school as it is. You're not skipping."

And Izumi thinks that, given Ritsu had to actually repeat a year because of bad attendance and sleeping through classes, he's _really_ not one to talk. 

He does have a point, though, and the last thing Izumi wants to do is put his education in jeopardy just because he's too fucked up to handle things properly. 

"Come on, Secchan," Ritsu says it a bit more gently this time, but Izumi can still hear the almost compelling authority in his voice and wonders just how commanding Ritsu could be if he was actually serious about it. 

"Okay, yeah," Izumi stands up, making sure his legs are actually going to support him before staggering to the door that leads to the bathroom. He turns back for a moment, looking at the Trickstar kid and debating whether what he wants to say next is a good idea. He doesn't think he can sink any farther in his eyes, anyway, so it's probably worth it. "I know I don't have any right to ask you a favor, but I’d appreciate it if you didn't tell Yuu-kun about... _this_."

"It's not really my place," he shrugs, sitting beside Ritsu on the bed. "But, for the record, I'm starting to think you're not an...entirely bad person."

"He's not," Ritsu says, reaching to rest his hand on the boy's thigh, and Izumi notices how he visibly relaxes at the action. "We'll wait for you," he directs this to Izumi, who nods and tries to figure out a way to keep his mind clear as he heads into the bathroom. 

Yuu-kun won't know about this, he thinks, and the relief that comes with that knowledge is almost threatening to overwhelm him. 

He manages to keep it together, barely, but it's something he can hold onto. 

If even _one person_ can see him as strong - especially if that person is Yuu-kun – then that's enough.   


000

  
"What are we doing for the summer?"

"We'll have to figure that out," Ritsu replies, eyes glowing crimson in the light from the setting sun. "But it shouldn't be hard to keep meeting up like this, especially since we'll still have idol activities."

"I don't think Izumi-chan's going to be much help in this conversation," Arashi sounds amused, hand trailing up Izumi's side almost teasingly slow. "Still okay, Tsukasa-chan?"

"I said I was going to become a more active participant when these situations arose, and it would be cowardly to break that promise," he replies, sounding so serious that Izumi lets out a tiny laugh. 

He never would have imagined this, being so comfortable with all of them that he's able to completely relax and let himself drift. There's a big difference between enjoying something and merely enduring it for his own good, but by this point he can safely say it's the first one. 

He's mostly sitting in Tsukasa's lap, legs crossed, with his ankles tied together and his calves lashed to his thighs, holding him in place. His arms are out straight on either side of his body, bracketing his legs and tied to them.  A final length of rope binds his arms to his chest again, wrapped tightly enough so he can feel it when he breathes. 

It's rather hard for him to be part of the conversation, in any case - not just because he's comfortable and floating in a kind of blissful half-conscious state, but also because of the gag in his mouth (and damn Arashi for even bringing that up, honestly, since he hasn't been able to stop thinking about it). 

"He looks so peaceful," Tsukasa sounds amazed, pulling Izumi back against his chest. "I can see why this is...a good thing for him."

"Don't fall asleep, okay?" Ritsu pats his leg. "We need you awake."

He nods, forcing himself to pay attention even though that's far more difficult than anything else right now. 

"Good. So. We've got a beach photoshoot coming up that apparently we'll need to stay overnight at a hotel for, but as long as I can get us a room together, we should be okay," Arashi reaches for his hand and Izumi squeezes it, rolling his eyes as dramatically as he can. 

"Is that for us sharing a room? I'm hurt, Izumi-chan, I'm looking so forward to having you at my mercy," Arashi teases and Izumi tries really hard not to react even though Arashi's getting _way_ too good at making him fall apart in all the best ways. "And you know I have to keep checking in on you since you can't tell us if you're getting uncomfortable."

He shrugs a little, the most he can move, and holds Arashi's hand a little more tightly to show he understands. 

"What about your trip?" Ritsu leans closer, resting his elbows on Izumi's bent knee. "Your family's going overseas, right?"

He nods, closing his eyes and nearly melting when Tsukasa's fingers slide through his hair. It's almost too good and he'd hate how vulnerable he's being except...he knows they'll never tease him about this (well, Arashi will, but it's completely good-natured). It's still not the same as with Leo, and it'll never be the same, but for what it is...it's really, really good. 

"Secchan? Are you really going to be okay for that long?" Ritsu tugs the gag down and Izumi smacks his lips, swallowing heavily. 

"I don't want to think about it," he mumbles, tipping his head back onto Tsukasa's shoulder. "Not now."

"You have to, because we have to know," Arashi points out. "Your parents..."

"I'm not fucking telling my parents about this. Can you imagine?" Izumi shudders and shakes his head. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," Arashi doesn't sound convinced, but there's not much any of them can do about this since he can't really say no to a family vacation at this point. 

They're all silent after that, Izumi focusing on breathing and feeling the ropes tighten and then loosen again, and he'll blame it on the situation later because there's no way he'd ever say what he's about to normally. 

"Hey, guys? Thanks," he mumbles. "For this. You know."

"Of course," Arashi leans in to kiss his forehead. "We're not the best at it and maybe it's taken us longer than it should have, but we Knights should look after each other."

"Narukami-senpai is correct," Tsukasa murmurs in his ear. "It will only benefit our unit in the end to be close with each other."

Ritsu's only response is to yawn and lean more heavily on Izumi's leg, curling up on the floor and looking almost as comfortable as Izumi feels. 

"You want this back?" Arashi lifts the gag and Izumi nods, opening his mouth and letting it be replaced. "We need to leave soon, though, the school will be closing....

"Relax, Natchan," Ritsu mumbles, tugging at Arashi's wrist. "We've got time."

Tsukasa leans his head against the wall and stretches his legs out, holding Izumi a little tighter, and eventually Arashi settles beside them. 

"You can always message one of us if you need to talk," Tsukasa murmurs and Izumi nods, even though he already knows he's not going to. 

Just like Leo disappeared, all of them could leave him the same way, so he has to learn to make it by himself. 

...oh, well. He'll worry about that later, when he doesn't feel so amazing. 

It's not like anything bad is going to happen, anyway, so maybe he won't need to worry at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Famous last words, Izumi. Famous. Last. Words. 
> 
> I’ve only really planned one more chapter for this fic (and yes, there will be Leo/Izumi), but I hope people are still liking it! As always, feel free to comment if you’re so inclined :) 
> 
> (oh, and as for who Arashi's talking about in that one section...I'll leave it up to reader interpretation ;) )


	3. Chapter 3

He amends his 'nothing bad is going to happen' statement about the time he realizes he'd just considered _jumping into the fucking ocean_ as being a good way to handle his emotions, and the only reason he's not in the water right now is probably because Arashi's got him pinned against the wall of their makeshift stage, both of Izumi's wrists caught in one hand and held high above his head.   
  
It's not perfect, but since they've got limited supplies it's about the best they can do, and Arashi's tall enough and strong enough that Izumi feels sufficiently trapped.   
  
"We told you to message us," Arashi sounds irritated, which is rather understandable, but Izumi's a little too lost in being restrained for the first time in...fuck, _too long_...to worry about being scolded.   
  
He sighs, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. "I wanted to do it alone."  
  
"You don't have to," Arashi says firmly. "Why do you think we're all doing this for you in the first place?"  
  
"To help me," Izumi finally admits, teeth gritted. It hurts his pride to say it, to admit that he _needs_ it, but he knows it's the truth. "But I look so..."  
  
"What? Weak?" Arashi gives him a rather level, unimpressed look. "You're not weak, Izumi-chan. Far from it. We all need help sometimes, you know, and when you find people who are willing to give it to you..."   
  
"I know, I know," he nods, eyes closing a little when Arashi's free arm presses against his chest, pinning him more firmly to the wall. "But talking to you won’t help me much when I need..."  
  
"Physical contact. Yeah," Arashi concedes, expression softening a bit. "You're going to Ritsu-chan's tonight, right?"  
  
"It'll be late by the time we get back so I can probably convince my parents," he decides, because even though Arashi had asked it as a question, it was pretty clearly an order. An order he agrees with, maybe, but he's not going to just admit that outright.   
  
"Good. I'll see if I can come, too...you'll probably need all of us," Arashi looks more concerned than anything now and Izumi just nods tiredly, too exhausted from traveling and from the hot sun to put up much resistance anymore. "Do you need to sit down?"  
  
"I'm fine," he promises, although he realizes that Arashi's mostly holding him up and tries to plant his feed more solidly. "I can get through the day, at least."  
  
"Okay. Just...tell one of us if you start thinking about jumping off the pier again," Arashi chuckles and Izumi rolls his eyes, even though he has to admit that was...not one of his finer moments.   
  
"Hey," Ritsu glances around the corner, yawning and sliding into the shade beside Izumi. "We good to keep practicing? The others are waiting."  
  
"Yeah," Izumi nods, taking a deep breath when Arashi finally lets go of him and trying to hold onto that feeling for at least a few hours.   
  
It's not going to be easy, but at least if he keeps thinking about being sure to not make a fool of himself in front of Yuu-kun...or, well, a bigger fool of himself than he already has...he'll be okay.   


000

  
Things go better than expected, at least for his relatively low hopes, and while it’s not perfect - honestly, it'll be a long time before things will _ever_ be perfect, if they in fact will be again, and he blames himself entirely for that - at least he thinks he should be able to handle himself around Yuu-kun from here on out. 

That's a big weight off of his shoulders, though he believes that his calmness during their live was probably due to…something else. 

Or some _one_ else.

He's not sure, and he doesn't want to wish too hard, but...

"You felt him too, right? Ou-sama," Ritsu asks while he's tying Izumi's wrists together later, and Izumi nods slowly. "You think..."

"If he's ready to come back, he wouldn't have been hiding," Arashi's idly unraveling another length of rope. "But then, I don't know him very well."

"For him to have been inconspicuous at all is a pretty big surprise, honestly," Izumi tests the ropes, pleased with the tightness and security after so long without it. "But I know he was there."

"Are you going to be okay tonight?" Arashi moves closer, and normally Izumi would complain on principle, but he just kind of leans against the other model and turns his face into Arashi's neck. "I can stay, too."

"You should go home," Izumi clears his throat. "I know you had a photoshoot this morning so you're probably just as tired as I am, and you know how important it is to be well-rested," he scolds gently. 

Tsukasa had already gone home (he didn’t live nearby and his family was kind of uptight about him being out too late) but Arashi's house was close enough to not have to worry about the time.

"I will," Arashi laughs, pressing a kiss into his hair. "Sleep well, darling."

"Can you not even say goodbye without being annoying?" Izumi huffs, glaring when Arashi ruffles his hair before standing up. 

"I'll come over tomorrow," Arashi waves at both of them before leaving and Izumi sighs heavily, hearing Ritsu's soft laugh in his ear. 

"You should give up the act, Secchan. I know you actually like all of us," Ritsu pulls his elbows together and ties another rope around them so Izumi's arms are forced straight along his back. "That okay?"

"Mm," he nods, shifting on the bed so Ritsu can tie his legs. "Do you...think he'll ever come back?" he asks softly and Ritsu looks at him, something thoughtful in his red eyes. 

"I do. I don't think he'd abandon us, and I especially don't think he'd abandon _you_ ," he stresses as Izumi rolls his eyes.

"If he cared that much he wouldn't have left," he comments bitterly, and while he knows what Leo had gone through...fuck, he'd seen him fighting and being broken down over and over the point that he _had_ to get out just to keep himself sane...there's still more than a bit of doubt that he'd been one of the reasons Leo had left. 

Maybe it's just him being paranoid, but something had obviously stopped Leo from ever going farther with him than was necessary to keep his needs met, and that's always stung a bit. 

Ritsu doesn't say anything to that, probably because he knows Izumi's not actually serious about being angry, but he tightens the last rope around Izumi's thighs and helps him to lie down. "Do you think he would have been there tonight if he didn't care?" he finally asked. 

"Well, no, but..."

"You love him, Secchan," Ritsu says calmly. "I know you do. So trust him," he urges, sliding his fingers against Izumi's palm and smiling enough to bare his fangs when Izumi squeezes his hand back. 

"He doesn't love me," is all Izumi says, closing his eyes and flopping against the pillow. He won't deny loving Leo at this point, because he has for a long time, but Leo's feelings toward him would likely always remain a mystery and he almost wishes Leo wouldn't come back just so he wouldn't have to be confused anymore. 

"Trust him," Ritsu repeats, pulling the blanket over him and turning off the light. 

Izumi’s asleep before he gets a chance to respond, the physical and emotional toll he’s been under lately finally catching up to him now that he feels safe and secure once more.   


000

  
He knows something's off as soon as he wakes up. 

He's lying on his back, for one thing, and that should have been almost impossible with the way he'd been tied. He can feel his arms beside him instead of behind him, but when he tries to look down his body he's met with fabric in front of his eyes that _definitely_ hadn't been there before. 

Maybe he should have been panicking, but for some reason he felt... _safe_. 

Confused, but safe, and that only served to make him _more_ confused since those two things normally didn't go together. 

"Ah, Sena! You're finally up!"

"Ou-sama?" he asks, or tries to, but for some strange reason even the sound of Leo's _voice_ makes all of the emotions he's been holding in for so long bubble over and he starts crying rather embarrassingly. 

"Sena, hey," he can hear the concern in Leo's voice and struggles a little...needing to see him, to touch him, to prove to himself this isn't just a bizarre dream, but he's held so tightly he can barely even squirm. "Calm down."

The command stills him instantly, a tiny sob breaking from his lips when Leo's fingers gently stroke along his cheek. He's wearing gloves, and Izumi would give anything to feel Leo's skin against his but maybe Leo just...doesn't want to touch him. 

...not that Izumi can really blame him for that, after everything that's happened. 

"My Sena," Leo sounds a little choked up and Izumi cries harder at that. He _is_ Leo's, and he always has been, but to have it acknowledged...this _must_ be a dream. "You're just as impossible as ever, aren't you?"

"You're one to talk," Izumi can feel tears sneaking past the blindfold and running down his cheeks. Leo swipes them away tenderly with his thumb, his body close enough now that Izumi can feel his warmth. "Can I see you?"

"No," Leo sounds apologetic. "No, they...the aliens, you see? Well, I guess you can't _see_ ," he laughs and Izumi isn't even going to attempt to make sense of that one. "But they can't know I'm here, or they might take me away for longer," he whispers like it's a secret. "I probably shouldn't touch you either...they might find out and take you, too..."

And that explains the gloves, Izumi thinks…or, rather, it explains fuck-all, but this is Leo and he almost should have expected some excuse like an alien abduction to justify his disappearance. 

"Why are you here if you're not coming back?" Izumi cuts straight to the point.  He’s still emotionally drained and tired and Leo showing up in the middle of it isn't really helping that at all. "We need you."

"You seem to be doing okay without me!" Leo says it brightly but Izumi can hear the waver in his voice that shows he's not nearly as happy about this as he sounds. "Tonight...you all work well as a unit. I guess I should thank you for that, huh? Keeping them together?"

Leo doesn't know, Izumi tells himself firmly. Leo doesn't _know_ , because if he did, that would be far too cruel a thing to say to the person who almost ensured the downfall of Knights. 

He takes a deep breath, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it because he doesn't have anything to say that won't result in him probably crying more. 

"Sena," Leo's voice drops, becoming more serious. "I won't apologize for leaving, because I had no choice."

Izumi nods, knowing that even if Leo says it's because of the aliens or something...he _didn't_ have a choice. Not with the way things were going, and Izumi can't resent him for that. 

"But I _will_ apologize for leaving _you_ ," he continues, and Izumi sucks in air so quickly he nearly chokes. "I should have told them how to take care of you, and it was really unfair of me to behave the way I did. A real king wouldn't leave his knights without ensuring they were in good hands, and I didn't do that. I hope you can forgive me," he says softly, and Izumi wants to tell him he doesn't need to apologize...no, that he _shouldn't_ apologize to somebody like him, but...

But it's been what he's wanting to hear for _so long_. It's the proof he needs that Leo _does_ care about him, and he lets out another sob that's purely of relief this time. 

"Idiot. Of course I forgive you," he sniffles, feeling Leo's lips press against his forehead and laughing through his tears. "You really _are_ an idiot, huh? I thought you couldn't touch me."

"Mm, I can't help it," Leo kisses his cheek this time, his voice dropping to a whisper. "If the aliens take you away, will you forgive me for that, too?"

And Izumi really can't tell if he's teasing since he sounds deadly serious, but at this point he'll probably forgive Leo for anything. He nods, feeling Leo's gloved hands press against his own and then Leo's straddling his body, lying on top of him and leaning in so close that Izumi can feel the tips of his hair tickling his neck. 

"Sena. I have to ask you to forgive me for one last thing."

"What?" Izumi can sense the tension between them, something so thick it makes his throat feel like it's closing up. It's not unpleasant or ominous, but it's unfamiliar and that all by itself is making him uneasy despite everything. 

But it's Leo. Whether this is a dream or not, it's Leo, and he trusts him with everything he is. 

"Hmm, you know the old saying? About how 'it's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission?'" he asks suddenly and Izumi frowns, because now of all times is not a good moment for Leo to be random. 

"Yeah? So what?"

"Forgive me," is all Leo says before Izumi feels lips pressed against his, one of Leo's hands tangling in his hair. Izumi tries to gasp but all of his air feels like it's been stolen, because Leo's mouth is on his and Leo's body is pressing him into the bed and it's everything he's wanted for longer than he cares to even think about. 

He strains against the bonds holding him, wanting to touch more than he's wanted anything in his entire life. "Easy," Leo urges, breaking away just far enough that he can whisper. "One day. I promise."

"Kiss me again," Izumi doesn't care how needy he sounds because he _is_ needy right now. "Ou-sama, please..."

"So you forgive me?" Leo's voice has a teasing lilt to it and Izumi growls because he's _really_ not in the mood for that. 

"I won't unless you do it again," he tries to move, even if it's just lifting his hips up, but he literally can't. "What did you do to me, anyway?"

"Belts," Leo says it like it should be obvious, and now that Izumi's actually focusing on it he can tell from where the material is wrapped around his bare arms that it isn't rope. "I thought after so long you'd...want to not be able to move at all," he sounds a little unsure, which isn't like him, but Izumi thinks it's probably foolish to assume that Leo hasn't changed at all in the time he's been gone. 

"It's good. Just not when I want to touch you," Izumi admits, hearing a breathy laugh in response. 

"Ah, Sena, you're always so blunt," Leo's fingers tickle under his chin and Izumi rolls his eyes under the blindfold. "But I guess you haven't forgiven me yet, so we should fix that."

This time his mouth is more insistent, tongue licking at Izumi's lips until he parts them. Izumi moans a little when Leo's tongue brushes against his, unable to hold any of his reactions back now. 

Leo's hand tightens in his hair, angling his head, and Izumi gives himself over to the kiss. It feels almost like Leo's _claiming_ him, his presence nearly overwhelming with every inch of their bodies touching. 

"Forgive me now?" Leo asks, sounding more than a title breathless when he breaks away. 

"I forgave you a long time ago," Izumi replies, trying to calm his own breathing down because that had been intense in the best possible way. "But I still want...need you back," he admits, voice breaking again both because it's still a little shameful to admit and because he really _does_ need Leo. 

"I know. It won't be too much longer," he vows, placing his hand over Izumi's chest. "Hmm, have you been wanting me to do that for a long time?"

"Fuck no, I'm just indulging your strange whims," Izumi replies, hoping that the room is still dark or else Leo will be able to see how red his cheeks probably are. 

"Maybe we're both idiots," Leo moves a little and Izumi makes a tiny noise of protest, not wanting him to go yet. "Kings can be cowards too, after all."

"You mean..." Izumi's never really considered that Leo might feel the same way.  Yes, he knew Leo loved him, but Leo tells people he loves them five seconds after meeting them so that had never seemed significant. But if Leo really _did_ feel the same, then...

Leo kisses him again instead of replying, which is pretty much a reply all by itself, but Izumi's learned by now that neither of them are the best at communicating their true feelings. 

The kiss doesn't last nearly as long as Izumi wants it to, but at least this time Leo lies down beside him instead of pulling back entirely. He keeps one hand tucked against Izumi's, his head pillowed on Izumi's shoulder, and it's...nice. 

"Still feeling okay?" Leo's voice is warm and fond, and Izumi wishes he could see his face because when Leo really smiles he looks even more beautiful than he naturally is.

"Yeah," he's not used to being this immobile, really, but the belts don't hurt and now that he's stopped trying to struggle it's actually rather comfortable. He yawns, still not really recovered from everything that's happened today (and the crying didn't help, either), but he doesn't want to fall asleep because he knows Leo will be gone by the time he wakes up. 

"You should rest," Leo brushes his hair back. "I could tell you were tired tonight on stage."

"You'll just disappear if I do," Izumi doesn't quite mean for that to come out as petulant as it does, but he can't help it. To finally get Leo back only to lose him again is something he's not ready for. 

"Maybe I’m not even here," Leo muses, his breath warm against Izumi's neck. "Maybe I’m just a holographic projection the aliens sent.”

"You’re pretty damn solid for a projection," Izumi grumbles. Leo laughs, turning his face into Izumi's shoulder, his entire body shaking. 

"Ah, Sena, I can't get anything past you," his voice breaks a little and Izumi wants to hold him so badly, but he knows better than to try and move again.  "It won't be much longer. I promise."

"You’d better keep that promise," Izumi has no idea what 'not much longer' means to Leo, after all, but at least it's better than him disappearing with no word at all like he had before. 

"The others are taking good care of you in the meantime, right? You were tied pretty securely," Leo slides a hand down his body and Izumi shivers. "What about the newbie?"

"It took him a while to get used to the idea but he's fine with it now," Izumi admits. "It's been...manageable, but..."

"Not me?" Leo teases, and Izumi _really_ wants to throw something at him for that. "I need you too, you know? My Sena," he hums and Izumi really hopes that's true and not just Leo spouting nonsense again. 

Still, it's at least a little reassuring, and he’s tired enough that falling asleep will probably be easy.

"I'll stay until you're sleeping," Leo says quietly, keeping himself pressed to Izumi's side.  He starts humming a soft tune, his fingers tapping out a gentle rhythm on one of the belts crossing Izumi’s torso, but instead of being irritating it’s extremely relaxing. 

"Okay," Izumi can't really ask for anything more, not now, so he tries to memorize how it feels to have Leo there and hopes it'll be enough to last until his King is back for good.   


000

  
"I'm not even going to ask how he got into my house," Ritsu doesn't look particularly surprised the next morning when Izumi tells him what had happened, but he'd noticed that the ropes weren't tied exactly the way he'd left them and Izumi guesses that makes the whole thing easier to believe.

"I'm still not convinced I didn't dream the whole thing," Izumi sits up and pulls his hands in front of him once they're untied, reaching to help get his legs free. "It _felt_ real, but..."

"You have to admit, it’s the kind of thing he’d do," Ritsu's smirking and Izumi _does_ have to admit it, because he honestly wouldn’t put anything past Leo at this point. 

"Still, I wish..." he pauses, his eye catching something on the bedside table, and he reaches out cautiously to pick up the items left there.  "Oh."

"Well, you wanted proof," Ritsu shakes his head, folding up the ropes and moving to put them away while Izumi examines the objects. 

He feels tears prick his eyes again and angrily wills them away, because it's idiotic to get emotional over a fucking _collar_ , of all things. It's just a plain black band, nothing fancy or showy, but there's what looks like a crown embroidered on the inside of the buckle and Izumi knows it's to remind him that Leo...

That Leo wants him, and cares about him, and that he'll feel safe when it's on because of that. It’s almost _too_ thoughtful for Leo, really, but Izumi appreciates it more than he'll ever be able to say. 

The other item is a matching black wristband with the same crown on it, and at least it's something he can wear daily and not have anybody think anything of it. 

Having a constant reminder of Leo will probably be as annoying as it is comforting, but Izumi wouldn’t have it any other way. 

He slips the band on, breathing out slowly and realizing that, even though Leo's not physically there, he feels...okay. 

Not perfect, but okay, and he knows that he’s got all the support he needs to keep _being_ okay until Leo finally comes back for good. 

And he _will_ come back. 

Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, but _some_ day.

Because he promised, and Izumi knows in his heart that, no matter how flighty and random Leo can be, this is one promise that he's never going to break.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended this to be the end of the fic but I've been...toying with the idea of a more, ah, explicit epilogue, so if that's something people would be interested in...let me know...
> 
> Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some spoilers for the Robin Hood/archery club gacha, and if you haven't read it yet I highly suggest it because it gives a lot of insight into Leo and a bit about the past of Knights. Also there are kittens.

"Wakey-wakey, Sena!"

"Mm?" Izumi blinks his eyes open slowly, finding himself staring at the ceiling. He stretches out as much as he can from his current position, which mostly involves straightening his legs, and sinks back against the pillow with a pleased sigh. "Morning."

"You're always so relaxed when you wake up," Leo somehow manages to snuggle under his bound arms, laying his head on Izumi's chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. "Feeling okay?"

"Yeah," Izumi breathes in and feels the collar press against his neck with the action, letting himself drift in blissful half-consciousness for a bit longer. He can't really touch Leo properly, but at least with his wrists tied in front of him he can kind of rest his hands on the other man's back. "How much time do we have?"

"A bit. I know you like to lie around in the mornings so I woke you up early," he's teasing, and Izumi would protest if he could deny it at all...but he can't, and since this is the only time he and Leo get to be like this - close and quiet and intimate - he doesn't want to ruin it with snark.

"There's only a couple of days until winter break," he mentions idly, for no other reason than to see Leo's reaction. It'll be harder for Leo to run away if they're spending more time together, after all, and since Leo's attendance at practice has been spotty at best (Izumi's heard from Tsukasa that he's always at archery club, however, and he's not really sure how to feel about that), this is really the only chance that he gets to be around Leo.

"Yep. Maybe the aliens will come back by then," Leo sounds excited and Izumi knows this conversation isn't going anywhere, the same way _none_ of his attempts to have a serious conversation with Leo go anywhere. It's incredibly frustrating, because Izumi has no idea where Leo's head is at, even after two months of him being back. He doesn't know how Leo feels about him any more now than he had before he'd disappeared, but this time it isn't even his fault because he's been trying but Leo always finds a way to deflect the topic or leave altogether.

He still blames himself, though, because he turns to utter putty under Leo's talented hands, and even if he's determined to get answers, Leo barely has to touch him for his mind to go completely blank. It's gotten to the point where he had to ask Leo to take it easy with the restraints because he needs to keep his wits around Leo, especially given that Leo isn't the same anymore.

Not the same as he used to be, and not even the same as he felt that night he'd snuck into the Sakuma house (which, by the way, Leo has never mentioned. Not the incident itself, and certainly not the fact that they'd kissed). He's still Leo, sort of, but sometimes Izumi _does_ almost wonder if he's some sort of alien pseudo-clone, close to being the Leo he knew but just imperfect enough that he's...not.

Leo still knows how to satisfy him, thankfully, but unlike with the others where Izumi could relax and enjoy himself, he's almost always on-edge with Leo now. It feels like a chore, and Leo seems to treat it as one, and that more than anything is making Izumi wonder how long he's going to offer to keep doing it.

"I think I need to do more to you, Sena," Leo's voice is light, but Izumi doesn't like his tone. "You're thinking too much."

"I need to think sometimes," Izumi replies, narrowing his eyes. He doesn't want to say something hasty or have reached a wrong conclusion, but he can't keep going on like this indefinitely and it's gotten to the point where _something_ has to give.

He'd thought maybe Leo had been waiting for his birthday in November, until they were both eighteen, but Leo hadn't even invited him over to spend the night and instead was at the school with Tsukasa until the wee hours of the morning.

He spends a lot of time with Tsukasa lately, and Izumi doesn't know if he should be jealous or not, but between that and the Judgment - something he hasn't gotten over yet because fuck, even if he'd failed, he and the others had tried _so hard_ to keep Knights together and rebuild their image so to have Leo swoop in and announce he would just...disband them like their months of work were worth _nothing_  was both insulting and more than a little hurtful - it's pretty clear Leo would rather not be around him, and he needs to understand why.

"No, you don't," Leo counters. "You never used to want to. Why now?"

"Because I can't trust you," he means to only think the words but they end up coming out, and he can feel Leo flinch in response. "Ou-sama..."

"Come to the archery club room at lunch," Leo cuts him off, and while Izumi's annoyed at that, at least he's not completely ignoring what Izumi had said.

"We're not allowed to be in the rooms outside of club time," Izumi frowns, because he doesn't want to get in trouble over _Leo_ , of all people. He's still treading carefully after what had happened with Yuu-kun, even though it's been months, but the less he does to draw any attention to himself from the faculty, the better.

"It's fine. The archery room is exempt from school rules," Leo shrugs, and while Izumi doubts that, he doesn't see any benefits to arguing. "Sena? Trust me on this, at least?"

"Yeah, fine, I'll come," he rolls his eyes, lowering his hands back to Leo's shoulders. Leo settles himself a little more comfortably on Izumi's chest, breathing out slowly and closing his eyes.

"I want to make you feel safe with me again," he mumbles, so quiet that Izumi's not sure he was meant to hear it, but he feels something burning behind his eyes because he wants that, too - so much - and he only hopes that one day they'll be able to get there.

000

"What the hell? Are those cats?!"

"You came!" Leo looks ecstatic, holding up an reddish-orange kitten with a white belly. "Say hi to Suo~!"

And if Izumi wasn't jealous of Tsukasa before, _now_ he certainly was, since the brat even got Leo to name a _cat_ after him.

"He said that one should be named after me, but I don't know why," Leo gestures to an orange tabby that's currently laying on its back and swatting idly at something invisible (much as Izumi is reluctant to, he has to admit Tsukasa named the cat well). "That one's Naru," a mostly white cat with multicoloured spots that's grooming itself rather fastidiously, "and Rittsu," a grey tabby that's asleep, "and that little guy way over there is Sena. It took him a while to warm up to me, but I think we're okay now," his voice gets quieter and Izumi knows he's not just talking about the cat anymore.

"We're not," he says bluntly, picking up the white cat that shares his name and smirking when it immediately hisses at him before settling in his arms.

"I kind of got that," Leo admits, rolling onto his back and holding Suo~ over his head. "So what's up?"

"I wish I knew where to start," Izumi sits beside him, letting Sena curl up in his lap. Really, the root of everything was him never quite knowing how Leo felt about...this _thing_ with him, but if he asks that, he'll probably get another frustrating non-answer and that won't get them anywhere.

"I'm not going to run away this time," Leo sits up, holding Suo~ carefully and sliding a little closer to Izumi. "I know I'm good at that, but it's not very kingly, is it?"

Izumi sighs, wondering if he can even trust Leo with that much. Naru mewls rather pitifully, stumbling over Izumi's arm to lie in his lap with a visibly disgruntled Sena. The tiny kitten nudges his hand, staring up at him with big eyes almost like it's trying to convince him to try and work this out.

It's completely something Arashi would do, and for some weird reason that gives him the courage he needs to do this.

He pats Naru on the head, the kitten starting to purr at the attention, and takes a deep breath before speaking.

"This...thing with me. Do you do it because you feel like you have to, or do you get something out of it?"

"Mm," Leo narrows his eyes, wiggling his finger in front of Suo~ and laughing when the kitten swats at it. "Obviously it helps you, so that's a good thing, but I think...it really does the same thing for me that it does for you."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that...you feel calmer, right? Well, it helps me focus to have somebody who needs my full attention," he taps his chin, staring up at the ceiling. "Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," he guesses that it does, and honestly he's never worried about Leo just...tying him up and getting distracted so completely he forgets about Izumi altogether, so there's some truth to it. "Would it be the same with anybody?"

"I've never tried it with someone who's not you, but I don't think so. It's a privilege to have you surrender to me, since it's not really in your nature otherwise," he chuckles, reaching out cautiously and touching his fingertips to Izumi's neck, right where the collar would normally sit.

Izumi's eyes flutter closed, his body reacting instantly. "Sometimes I hate how much power you have over me," he whispers, completely tamed with just one simple action.

"I love it. I love that you're mine," Leo sounds both proud and possessive in a way that makes Izumi shiver. "My Sena."

Izumi's eyes snap open at the words, his gaze finding Leo's only to see that the other boy looks fearful. "So now you decide to remember that night?"

"Ah," Leo gives him a tiny smile. "The night I visited you at Rittsu's, yes? The night..."

"We kissed. Or you kissed me. Yeah," Izumi's mouth feels dry because even though he'd wanted proof that it hadn't just been some sort of strange dream, now that he has it, he's not sure how to feel. "And then you show up at school talking about breaking up Knights and not mentioning that it happened, so can you blame me for being confused?"

"You're right," Leo concedes, frowning now. "I...maybe I was jealous," he juts out his lower lip, almost looking like he's pouting. "You know how Knights started, and seeing all of you...no in-fighting, no purges, nothing but four very different people trying to come together and work as a singular unit...it made me think that maybe _I_ was the problem. You weren't my Knights anymore, Sena...you were just _Knights_. You didn't have a king, but it didn't matter, because you were fine on your own."

"Idiot," Izumi snorts, scratching behind Naru's ear as the kitten purrs even louder. "Is that really what you thought? We were holding it together, sure, but there was always a hole there that none of us could quite fill. We _needed_  you, we were _waiting_ for you, and to have you come back and just casually act like you wouldn't care if we didn't exist at all? You have no idea how much of a betrayal that was," he stops, cutting off the words in his throat before he can get even more heated.

"But you proved me wrong, Sena. You proved that you could stand up to the best the school had to offer, and you did it without my songs and without me," he looks away and sighs. "Maybe that's why I've been distant, because I don't have the right to be your king anymore. That night with you...I didn't let you see me because I didn't want you to see how broken I was. I wanted you to remember me the way I used to be."

"I don't care about that," Izumi shifts a little closer, reaching for Leo's hand and holding it tightly. "I don't need you to try and be who you _think_ I want you to be. I just need you to be yourself, whatever that is. You're still going to be fucking annoying either way, so," he adds, before Leo can accuse him of being too nice or something.

"Wahaha!" Leo throws his head back and laughs, his hand gripping Izumi's back. "You need to work on your inspiring speeches, Sena!"

"Whatever. Just stop trying to run away when the only thing all of us want is for you to be with us," he stops himself from saying 'with me,' but he hopes Leo understands that.

"You'd still accept me as your king? Even as I am now?" Leo looks so serious that Izumi knows he can't be flippant now, and he nods.

"We'll always accept you. Ou-sama," his voice breaks and then Leo is kissing him again, except this time it's so much _better_ because Izumi can touch him.

And he does, his hands running up Leo's back and into his hair, pulling the shorter man on top of him as Leo eases him down to the floor. The cats scatter with various grumpy noises, but Izumi barely notices them because Leo's fucking _kissing him again_ and it's what he's wanted for months.

Leo manages to grab his wrists, holding both of them in one hand and lifting Izumi's arms over his head so they're held down to the ground. Izumi growls, needing his hands on Leo again, and he can feel Leo smirk against his lips.

"Bastard," he nips at Leo's lips and gets a breathy puff of laughter in response before Leo thankfully lets him go, and then he's not sure how long they spend kissing and clutching at each other but he feels so _good_ that maybe it doesn't matter.

"Tsukinaga, are you...well."

"Ah!" Leo breaks away from Izumi, glancing at the door. "Keito! I was just showing Sena here the kittens!"

"I think you've scarred the kittens for life," Keito replies, absently adjusting his glasses. "And from here it looks more like you were showing him your tonsils."

Izumi stays frozen on the ground, his heart hammering rapidly in his chest because Keito's on the fucking _student council_ and if he gets in trouble again the school might just decide to suspend him entirely and he can't...

"Sena. Calm down," Leo gives him a pointed look and Izumi immediately feels the tightness in his chest ease, his breathing returning to normal. "I told you the school rules don't apply here," he grins.

"He's right, but there are still some things that are better done in your own homes," Keito doesn't look angry and Izumi finally sits up, still feeling a little shaky. "Just remember to give the cats some treats before you leave. I'll check on them after school," he shakes his head and turns around, walking out of the room.

"I told you it was fine. He was the one who made this place a lawless zone, after all," Leo laughs and flops onto Izumi's lap, grinning up at him.

"I never knew you two were close," Izumi wouldn't have expected it, really, with how uptight Keito acts all the time.

"He's a good guy," Leo brushes some hair out of his eyes, still looking at Izumi. "Hey, can you spend the next couple of nights at Rittsu's?"

"What? Why?" his first panicked thought is that Leo is leaving again and he holds him close almost desperately.

"Hey, no," Leo sits up and crawls more into his lap, hugging him so that their upper bodies are pressed together. "I need to set something up. For you. Call it a late birthday gift. Or early Christmas gift?" he sounds thoughtful. "One or the other."

"Okay," Izumi wants to comment that almost two months is pushing it on even being a 'late' birthday gift but he stays quiet, turning his nose into Leo's neck and breathing him in. "I can do that."

"Great! I'll still be around in the daytime. Probably," he amends, and since Leo's attendance record for anything is rather less than stellar Izumi almost expects that by now.

Izumi doesn't let him go, relaxing into Leo's touch, but he does loosen his grip a little.

Leo, for once, feels...calm. He hasn't really since he's returned, almost like he's been restless and unable to settle down properly, but now...

"I'm not leaving you again," Leo says quietly, pressing a kiss into Izumi's hair. "I want to make this work."

"We can," Izumi's more sure of that now. "I know we can."

"Good," Leo ruffles his hair before standing up, rushing over to a corner of the room and coming back with a bag of cat treats. He spreads a few on the ground and Naru and Sena immediately dash over, swatting at each other playfully. Suo~ seems a bit more refined as it eats, and even Rittsu manages to wake up, yawning and showing pointed little teeth before stumbling to the snacks.

Only the cat named after Leo doesn't join them, still on its back and swiping at the ceiling.

"All of them...they really are a family, huh?" Leo sounds contemplative and Izumi knows again that he's not talking about the cats.

"Yeah," Izumi scoops up the last kitten and places it in the middle of the others, seeing it look around almost in confusion before pouncing on a treat and meowing happily amongst the others. "All of them are."

Leo looks up at him, holding out his hand and smiling when Izumi takes it, and he just hopes that Leo understands that there's a place in their little Knights family for him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this would be the epilogue but getting these two to actually sit and talk about things was more difficult than I'd expected so in the interest of not having one giant chapter, I decided to end it here. 
> 
> Next chapter will definitely be the epilogue, and yes, the rating will go up ;)


	5. Chapter 5

"What kind of gift could Leader possibly need so many days to set up?"  
  
There's utter silence as all of them look at Tsukasa, and the boy turns about as red as his hair when he notices he’s become the center of attention.   
  
"Wh-what? Is it not a valid question?"  
  
Ritsu lets out a tiny laugh and Arashi somehow manages to make a rather lewd gesture with a coil of rope, something that has Tsukasa blushing even more.   
  
"You're all going to be really disappointed when that's not even what's happening," Izumi grunts. "He's probably trying to get those aliens of his to come back and abduct us or something."  
  
"You just don't want to get too excited, but we know you've been wanting this for a while," Arashi's smirking rather knowingly and Izumi rolls his eyes.  
  
"You're the ones who seem obsessed with it, not me," he counters, glancing up at his bound wrists and shifting so he's a little higher on the bed. "And did you all really need to come here? I'm sure Kuma-kun can handle it himself."  
  
"Really, Izumi-chan, we barely get to spend time with you anymore like this," Arashi runs a hand up his leg, fingers slipping between the ropes circled above his knee and his jeans to check the tightness. "And you're _so_ lovely like this."  
  
"I hate you," Izumi replies, letting Arashi push his leg up and back so that the other end of the rope could be tied to the headboard. Ritsu does the same to his other leg, and with his wrists already tied together and then to the headboard, he has to lean back in order to keep his balance.   
  
"To be fair, Senpai, you are rather more...manageable like this," Tsukasa still looks afraid to talk around him sometimes, but Izumi feels himself submit a little when Tsukasa reaches out to press his fingers just under Izumi's collar. "And I believe it's helped our unit immensely to have these kinds of bonding sessions."  
  
" _Bondage_ sessions, you mean," Ritsu puts in, and Izumi really _does_ hate them all in that moment.   
  
Except, of course, he really doesn't, and while being with Leo is what he's really wanted...he has to admit he's kind of missed this, too. Leo's not possessive enough to care, so maybe him being back doesn't have to mean they need to stop this entirely, but it's not a subject they've brought up before.   
  
"Good?" Arashi asks softly and he nods, leaning his head back. "Are you nervous?"  
  
"A little," he knows none of them will believe him if he says no, and he's starting to sink into that blissful place where he doesn't care about keeping up a front anymore. "I guess I always thought my first time would be spontaneous."  
  
"Well, it's not like any of us can help you," Ritsu leans beside him, closing his eyes. "But Ou-sama would never hurt you."  
  
"I know," he nods, taking a deep breath. "Am I really that...awful that you guys only want to be around me when I'm tied up?" he asks softly, suddenly vulnerable.   
  
"Oh, honey, no," Arashi promises, stroking his hair back. "But you're certainly more honest, though at this point I don't know why you feel you need to be anyone other than who you are with us."  
  
"Used to it, I guess," he mumbles, settling down even farther. Tsukasa touches his neck again and he's pretty much gone now, realizing far too late that when it's all three of them he practically turns to mush the same way Leo can make him do.   
  
"Sena-senpai?" Tsukasa asks warily, and Izumi blinks his eyes open with a rather large effort. "Do you require anything else of me?"  
  
"Mm, you can go home if you need to, Kasa-kun," he sighs. "Thanks."  
  
"Naturally," he keeps his fingers pressed to Izumi's throat, just enough that he can feel a bit of resistance when he breathes. "I could...perhaps stay if you deem it necessary?"  
  
Arashi and Ritsu exchange a rather loaded glance and Izumi wonders why before he _gets_ it, struggling to wake up a little and looking at Tsukasa in surprise.   
  
"What? Did I say something unexpected?"  
  
"Well, well, well," Arashi hums. "Looks like our little Tsukasa-chan is coming into his own."  
  
"I'm afraid I do not understand," Tsukasa looks confused and Ritsu apparently decides to take pity on him, clapping his shoulder.   
  
"You knew he needed you to stay without him saying anything," he explains, and Tsukasa's eyes widen.   
  
"Oh! Ah, it truly was just...that is..."  
  
" _You_ can leave, though," Izumi directs this to Arashi, who winks at him and slides even closer. "Ugh."  
  
"You wound me, Izumi-chan. And I know you too well for that to work on me," Arashi's hand comes to rest on his stomach, warm through his t-shirt. "You need all of us to give you what...what he can by himself, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah," he concedes, not feeling any shame about it. "But to be honest, it's maybe even more intense with all of you because there's more, uh..."  
  
"Contact?" Ritsu yawns and leans fully against him, curling up and closing his eyes. "You know you can't spend the night like this, Secchan."  
  
"Yeah," Izumi doesn't think it would be very comfortable to sleep sitting against the headboard anyway, but for now he's fine. "You'll be awake soon though, right?" he looks down but Ritsu's snoring already, arms wrapped around his leg and using Izumi's thigh as a pillow.   
  
"He'll be up as soon as the sun's down fully," Arashi shrugs, not looking concerned. "But we can all relax until then, I think, if you're good."  
  
"Mm," Izumi nods, hearing the bed shift and looking over at Tsukasa. "C'mere."  
  
"Ah! Yes," Tsukasa moves closer, sliding behind Ritsu and pressing himself to Izumi's side. "Is this acceptable?"  
  
"Hey, this is the one time I'm not gonna complain about you guys touching me," he mumbles, closing his eyes again.   
  
"Oh, you’ll complain, but we know it's a lie," Arashi's on his other side, one hand still pressing warm against Izumi's stomach. "It's okay to be nervous, Izumi-chan. But he loves you, you know?"  
  
"I'm..." Izumi sighs, eventually nodding. "Yeah. I know."  
  
"But I'll still expect a full report the next morning..."  
  
"Ew," Izumi replies, feeling Arashi laugh breathily against his neck. "Thanks, Naru-kun. For everything," he mumbles, quiet enough that he hopes only Arashi can hear it. Arashi hums and reaches up to squeeze his hand under the pretence of checking his circulation, and Izumi doesn’t know why he's being so sentimental but it feels...okay, right now.   
  
He'll be back to telling them all they're annoying idiots in the morning, but for right now...when he feels safe...maybe it's good to let his guard down a little bit.   
  
He leans his head back, relaxing his body in the ropes, and tries not to think too hard about what Leo has in store for him.   
  
After all, he'll find out soon enough.  


000

  
"You want something to eat?"

"I'm good," Izumi shakes his head, reflexively rubbing the cuff on his wrist and trying to calm himself down. 

He has no idea _why_ he's so nervous, but his stomach hurts and he feels kind of shaky and sweaty and ill. Fuck, maybe he _can't_ do this...

"You look kinda pale, Sena," Leo tilts his head to the side, reaching to touch Izumi's forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Are you going to fuck me?"

And okay, that wasn't just supposed to...come out...and Leo looks at him with his mouth half-open and his eyes wide before bursting into laughter. 

Izumi stares down at the ground in shame, fists clenched at his sides, and thinks that he should probably just leave because obviously that isn't what this is even about and he's made a complete fool of himself now. 

"Ah, I forgot how blunt you could be!" Leo's gasping for breath, still grinning, and he reaches to take Izumi's hand. "But if you'll permit it, I was...hoping that's where tonight would lead," he says quietly, suddenly serious. 

"Yeah," he whispers, his voice seemingly unable to go any louder. "Yeah, I want to."

"Great!" Leo tugs on his hand. "Come on, no sense wasting time, right?"

Izumi lets Leo lead him to the bedroom, which seems largely unchanged from any other time he'd been there. Whatever Leo had needed days to set up, it obviously wasn't improving the decor. 

"What should I do?" Izumi asks, standing in the middle of the room and crossing his arms. "Do we just..."

"Well, we _could_ , but I don't think that would be very fun for either of us," Leo sits on the bed, apparently perfectly composed. It’s such a contrast to how Izumi's feeling that he wonders absently if this actually means anything to Leo, because it's hard to tell from how he's acting. "I've been thinking of the best way to do this, and...hmm..." he glances up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "How about you tell me what you want?"

"What..." Izumi frowns, because he's never thought about it beyond, well, having sex. "I..."

"You really like touching me," Leo keeps talking as if he hadn't just asked Izumi a question. "And you like feeling like you belong to me...okay!" he hops up, clapping his hands and jumping on top of the bed. "Get naked, Sena!"

"Wa-wait a second!" Izumi protests, since this is _not_ the time for Leo to be random. "What are we..."

"Oh. Right!" Leo jumps off the bed and runs over to him. "I don't want to tie you up, since I think for a first time we should take it easy. So maybe...just wear the collar," he nods. "But you're not allowed to touch me unless I say so."

Izumi growls at that, even though he knows having something like instructions will help keep him present and focused. 

"You're mine, Sena," Leo's hand comes up to tighten around the collar, pressing it against the tender skin of Izumi's throat. 

Izumi's hands fly up instinctively to push him off, though he stops at the glare Leo gives him. "Ou-sama," he murmurs, the churning in his gut almost sickening. "Don't...I don't want..."

"I know what you want," Leo cuts him off and Izumi gasps, not liking this at all. 

"No," he hates how panicked he sounds but he has _no idea_ what Leo's thinking and it's frightening. 

"Sena," Leo leans closer, so his lips are almost touching Izumi's. "Trust me? Please?"

Izumi takes a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down, and finally nods. "Okay."

"Take your clothes off and lie on the bed," he steps back and Izumi shivers. He couldn't comply even if he wanted to because he's completely frozen, not liking the side of Leo at all. "Hey," Leo moves closer again, wrapping his arms around Izumi's waist and holding him gently. "I'm messing this up, aren't I? Just like I mess up everything with you."

"No, you..." Izumi sighs, ignoring Leo's rules and hugging him back. Leo's lips press against his neck and Izumi feels himself sinking into the embrace, his body going limp. 

"Oh, Sena, why am I such a fool?" Leo sounds close to tears. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Izumi grunts, rubbing Leo's back. "You're just as fucking lost as I am, huh?"

"I did a lot of research," Leo protests, and Izumi smiles and turns his face into Leo's neck. "I guess you just went me to be myself, right?"

"Well, you're the idiot I fell in love with, so yeah. I don't need this to be perfect, Ou-sama. I just want _you_ ," he feels raw and vulnerable being so honest, but obviously Leo needs to hear it. 

"Okay," Leo exhales and moves back. "I want you to feel good. That's all I've ever wanted."

Izumi nods, reaching to strip his shirt off and unzipping his jeans, pushing them down and kicking them off. This part isn't really weird, since he's been almost more undressed than this in front of cameras and people and for the whole world to see, but when it's just Leo it feels... _more_ , somehow. 

"Lie down," Leo says it gently this time and Izumi feels far more compelled to listen, getting onto his back and lying on the bed. "Wrap your fingers around the headboard bars and don't move your hands."

"What are you doing?" Izumi asks, even as he raises his arms and does as Leo asks. 

"I'm just going to touch you," Leo promises. "I'm not good with words, you know? Not speaking them," he straddles Izumi's legs. "But will you let me...show you what you mean to me?"

"Yeah," the word catches in his throat so he nods to make sure Leo knows he's agreeing. 

"My Sena," Leo's fingers brush through his hair and Izumi sighs happily. "You love when I'm gentle," he kisses Izumi's forehead, his cheeks, avoiding his lips directly which is incredibly frustrating but Izumi almost expected it, to be honest. Leo might be gentle, but he's still not going to give in to what Izumi wants so soon. His kisses are almost feather-light, barely enough for Izumi to feel. His fingers mirror where his lips have touched, sliding along Izumi's skin gently. 

It makes him shiver and he feels utterly stripped bare, but it's also incredibly erotic and his body can't help but respond to the rather thorough exploration that Leo's doing. 

"Sena," Leo breathes against his shoulder, kissing along his collarbone and down his chest. His fingers brush over Izumi's nipples and he can't hold in the tiny whimper that slips from his throat as he pushes his body up into Leo's hands. "You're so sensitive. Look at you," he rubs his thumbs over Izumi's nipples, slow circles that have the tiny buds hardening under his touch. 

"Fuck," Izumi gasps, his cock starting to harden in his underwear, and he tries to hide his face because it's embarrassing how quickly he's coming apart at something so simple. 

"Don't hide," Leo sounds amused, one hand sliding over Izumi's abs as his mouth takes over. The roughness of his tongue over Izumi's sensitive skin is even more overwhelming, and when Leo bites down gently, teeth closing around his nipple, he can't do anything to stop the cry that slips from his mouth. "Nobody's home," Leo murmurs. "Ruka's out with some of her school friends, so you can be as loud as you want."

Izumi doesn't particularly _want_ to be loud, but he's not sure if he can help it...not if it keeps feeling this good. Leo kisses his chest and looks up, the brilliant green of his eyes barely visible with how dilated his pupils are, and Izumi knows that he's not the only one affected by this. 

"You're beautiful, Sena. I'm sure you hear it from everybody," Leo sits up, leaning in to finally kiss Izumi. He pulls back before it can get too heated, reaching to lightly touch his fingers to the collar. 

Izumi lets out a low hum from deep in his throat, almost preening under the attention. "It means more coming from you," he admits, tilting his chin up and baring his throat. "Ou-sama...please..."

"You want me to..." Leo blinks, looking surprised. "But you...your job..."

"I don't have any shoots for a while, not with the holidays coming up," he swallows heavily. "I want...I want you to claim me. Make me yours," his voice breaks on the last word and then he's fucking crying again, trying without any luck to keep his emotions in check. 

"You already know you're mine," Leo's eyes are bright and he laughs, kissing Izumi's lips quickly before he moves lower. "If you're sure you want it..."

"I do. Please," he shivers, not even ashamed to beg now. 

"You want everyone to see?" Leo grins, biting at Izumi's neck before latching his mouth there. Izumi feels his back arch off of the mattress, cock rubbing against his boxers as he tries to get any sort of friction he can. Leo pulls away with a wet smack, looking pleased with himself. "Want them all to know you belong to me?"

Izumi nods, dropping his body back to the bed when Leo kisses him again. "Thank you," he murmurs, fingers tightening around the headboard as the urge to touch gets stronger. 

Leo notices, of course, smirking at him as he reaches down to cup Izumi through his underwear. "You're making a mess, Sena," he drawls, pulling the fabric taut against Izumi's cock, and when he looks down he can see a growing wet spot there. "What do you need?"

"Please...touch me..." Izumi groans, his hips bucking up again. 

"Don't move," Leo orders and Izumi hears a tiny whimper escape his throat. "Is it okay if I tell you that now?" Leo asks, looking a little unsure. "I can stop..."

"No, it's fine," Izumi promises. "I...I like it."

"Good," Leo kisses him once more before pulling away. "I need to get some things, so I want you to take these off and touch yourself," he gets off the bed and Izumi nods, hurrying to slide his underwear down and kicking them aside. 

It feels awkward, of course, but he sits back against the headboard and reaches between his legs. His fingers wrap around his cock, spreading pre-cum over the length of it and stroking slowly upward. Fuck, he really _did_ make a mess, and he tries to be careful about not getting anything on the sheets as he works his hand a little faster. 

"You know the sheets are going to get dirty, right?"

"Huh?" he looks up, his breath catching because Leo looks beautiful; eyes bright and cheeks flushed and hair coming undone and falling in messy waves to his shoulders. "Uh..."

"Make a mess, Sena! Enjoy yourself!" he throws his arms wide and spins in a circle. "Ah, youth, don't waste it on worrying about such trivial things! Besides," his voice suddenly drops and he moves forward, dropping a bottle of lube and a condom onto the blankets. "I want to make you _filthy_."

"Fuck," Izumi feels his cock twitch at the words, his entire body responding. 

"Lie on your stomach," Leo's back to bring all-business and Izumi complies, groaning at the feeling of his cock trapped between the sheets and his body. "Arms by your sides, don't move."

He flinches when Leo lies bodily on top of him, his clothes rough against Izumi's bare skin. Leo presses a tiny kiss to the nape of his neck, teeth sinking in almost possessively just above his shoulder. He trails kisses down Izumi's spine, pausing at the small of his back. 

"Have you ever...to yourself?" he asks softly, bracing his hands on Izumi's thighs and pushing his body up. 

"Yeah. A bit," Izumi admits, glad that he can hide his face in the blankets because his cheeks are probably beet-red. 

"Do you want to prep yourself or do you trust me to do it?" 

"Huh?" Izumi turns without thinking, reaching for Leo and feeling tears start to build again when the other man allows it, letting Izumi scramble into his lap. "Shit, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking..."

"Cry all you want, Sena," Leo brushes his hair back and kisses his shoulder. "Unless they're tears of sadness or pain, that is."

Izumi shakes his head, not ready to voice why he's actually so overwhelmed, but Leo's doing so much to make him feel comfortable that it's messing with his emotions in the worst ways. 

"As long as you don't mind me crying, too, since I can't see you doing it and not start," Leo adds, arms wrapped around Izumi"s waist. 

"Whatever," Izumi grunts, which only gets a laugh from Leo. "And I trust you. Of course I trust you."

"Get on your knees, hands against the headboard," Leo helps ease Izumi off of his lap and Izumi does as he's instructed, feeling a little self-conscious with his ass in the air like that. "Good."

He can hear Leo fiddling around with something and then his hands are back on Izumi, guiding him to spread his legs apart. He squares his knees on the bed, holding his body steady, but he knows he's too tense for this to go smoothly and he tries to relax. 

"It's okay, Sena," Leo's stroking one slicked finger slowly over his entrance, not pushing in yet, but just getting Izumi used to the feeling of him being there. "I'll go as slow as you need me to."

"I'm okay," Izumi breathes in, stretching his neck out so he can feel the collar tighten. He pushes back against Leo's fingers, feeling one slip inside of him, and tries to keep his body as open as possible. 

"Tell me if it hurts," Leo instructs, moving his finger a little deeper. Izumi presses his cheek against the sheets, gripping the headboard. "Sena?"

Izumi tries to speak and just ends up kind of whimpering, muscles clenching without him meaning them to. 

"Hey, hey," Leo's lips press gently against the back of his neck, one arm wrapped around his waist as Leo mouths at his skin. "I'm not going to hurt you, Izumi," he murmurs and Izumi sobs outright at that, squeezing his eyes shut. "Talk to me."

"It's different when it's not me," Izumi finally replies, earning a soft laugh from Leo. "Obviously."

"Mm, but that doesn't mean it can't be good, right?" Leo's finger is still inside of him, a steady pressure that Izumi finds himself getting used to. "You know I was serious about making you filthy," he whispers, hand sliding down Izumi's stomach and wrapping around his cock. "Maybe not tonight, but one day..."

Izumi gasps, hips rocking forward into Leo's touch and then back against his finger. "What do you..."

"Mm, Naru might have...mentioned to me that you like being gagged, you know?" he sounds completely casual, sliding another finger in when Izumi looks up in surprise. 

Fucking Arashi, he thinks grumpily, though there's no heat behind it. He should have expected it, really, but it was his own fault for reacting to the idea in the first place that one time Arashi had just brought it up as a joke.

"Do you want that, Sena? Want to be gagged and tied up while I fuck you?" he purrs, biting down on Izumi's shoulder hard enough to leave another mark. "I think you do. You're getting so wet," he rubs his thumb over the head of Izumi's cock, making him whine. "Did you do it to yourself? Pretend it was me?" Leo whispers in his ear, breath hot. 

All Izumi can do is nod, his body betraying him the way it always does around Leo. 

"What did you do, hmm?" 

"I...." Izumi swallows, trying to form words. "Tried to tie myself up...uh...gagged myself with a towel...I bought a..." he groans when a third finger is added, fucking himself back onto them. "A t-toy, imagined it was you fucking me..."

"When did you get so dirty, Sena?" Leo sounds almost amazed, shifting his hand a little, and Izumi yelps as Leo's fingers brush his prostate. 

"Fuck..." he moans, throwing his head back.  "Ou-sama...Ou-sama, _please_ , fuck me..."

"Are you sure?" Leo isn't teasing now, his words purely of concern, and Izumi nods. 

"I'm ready. Please," he repeats, groaning softly when Leo's fingers slide out. "Should I stay like this?"

"You're pretty flexible, yeah? Wanna ride me?" he sounds excited and Izumi nods, sitting up and stretching his back out. "Great!"

"Are you taking your clothes off?" Izumi hasn’t thought much about the fact that he’s naked while Leo is fully-dressed, but now he can't help but notice. 

"Do you want me to? I mean, compared to you, I'm pretty average," he frames Izumi's waist with his hands and stares up at him. 

"I think you're beautiful," Izumi mumbles, wrapping his arms around Leo's neck and pulling him closer. "And I really want to touch you."

"Well, you've been good so far, so maybe you deserve a _little_ reward," Leo teases, his eyes narrowing as his lips curl up into a smirk. "Wanna do it for me?"

Izumi nods, gripping the hem of Leo's shirt and getting it up and over his head before reaching for his jeans with shaking hands. Leo helps him shove them down, scrambling out of his underwear and yanking Izumi back into his lap once he's naked. 

"Touch me, Sena. While I'm allowing you to," he adds, and Izumi doesn't hesitate then, running his hands over every inch of skin he can reach. "One day...wanna just touch each other?"

"There's a lot of 'one days' coming from you tonight," Izumi comments, sliding his fingers down Leo's chest. 

"Because I'm hoping there's going to _be_ a lot of 'one days,'" Leo replies honestly, tilting his head up to kiss Izumi. "This isn't just a passing fancy of mine, you know? I have a lot of those, admittedly, but you...you'll never be temporary."

"Stop, you're going to fucking make me cry again," Izumi laughs to cover the fact that he _is_ almost crying again, or maybe he's never stopped, and Leo grins sheepishly. 

"You want to do the honors?" he gestures to the lube and condom and Izumi nods, looking down at Leo for really the first time and deciding that it should be okay. The last thing he’d wanted was for this to be awkward, after all, so he'd at least tried to work with toys of a realistic size, and he's glad for it now. "Uh...Sena?”

"Sorry. But don't ever put yourself down again, idiot," he grabs the condom, rolling it over Leo's cock and watching with no small amount of pride at the way Leo's eyes flutter closed and his breathing stutters, the first real indications he's made that he's aroused at all. "You're as beautiful as any model."

"Beautiful, huh?" Leo touches his hip gently, fingers digging in a little when Izumi strokes lube over him. "You ever...think about fucking me in your fantasies?" he asks, Izumi's hand faltering a little when he looks at Leo in surprise. 

"Uh. I mean, that's not..."

"Of course it is," Leo snorts, waving a hand dismissively. "What if I told you I want you to?"

Izumi breathes out slowly, the fingers of his clean hand tangling in Leo’s hair and pulling him into an insistent kiss that he hopes gives the other man the answer he needs. 

Because yes, Izumi _had_ thought about it. Vaguely, and not in any real detail, but then he’d never truly imagined that _this_ would happen, either, so it's not really surprising he hadn't let his fantasies get away completely from him. 

"See? We've got a lot of 'one days,'" Leo gives him the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile and Izumi wraps his arms around Leo's neck, lifting himself up because he needs Leo inside of him _now_. "Easy," Leo steadies his hips, helping him lower his body, and this time he's completely relaxed.

Leo’s biting his lip, hair sticking haphazardly to his forehead as he stares down and eases Izumi fully onto his cock. He looks so intense, so focused, and Izumi maybe believes the first time that this...thing with them _is_ helping Leo as much as it is him. 

"Keep your arms there. Don't move them," Leo orders, latching his mouth onto Izumi's neck to suck another mark there. "But go at your own pace," his voice breaks a little, wavering enough to tell Izumi that he's not nearly as composed as he’s trying to be. 

Izumi lets himself adjust to the stretch, the feeling comparable enough to what he'd practiced with but also completely different because this was _Leo_ and not just a silicone replacement. 

"Okay?" Leo asks, his fingers digging almost painfully into Izumi's hips. He sounds desperate, his eyes almost all pupil and his breath coming fast and shallow. 

Izumi shakes his head, hugging Leo tightly. "No, I...sorry. I'm okay, I just...I guess I still thought...maybe you didn't feel the same way about me," he mumbles. 

"Sena," Leo sounds wryly amused. "I was trying to keep it together, but you know I never hide how I'm feeling," he grins, and Izumi can't deny that. " _This_ is how much I want you," he moves his hips a little and Izumi groans, sinking back onto Leo's cock. "I've always wanted you."

"Ou-sama," he whispers, nuzzling Leo's shoulder. He sits up, stretching his back out and adjusting his knees, reaching to brace his hands on Leo's chest. 

"Go," Leo urges him, his hands still gripping Izumi's waist. 

Izumi nods, lifting himself up before rolling his hips downward again. Leo lies perfectly still, mouth slightly parted, and the look on his face is almost reverent as he stares at Izumi. 

It makes him uncomfortable, even though he's used to people admiring his looks, because with Leo it's so much more than that. Leo's attraction to him isn't just aesthetic, since Leo's seen the best and worst of him and cares for him despite that, but Izumi still doesn't feel like he deserves it. 

"Don't think," Leo reaches up to tug on the collar, forcing Izumi's head lower. His hands spread over Izumi's back, arching his own body off of the bed and pressing his lips to Izumi's chest. 

Izumi tries to comply and keeps moving, his rhythm faltering when Leo sits up enough to run his tongue over a nipple again. He tips his head back, panting, cock trapped between their bodies and leaving streaks of wetness on both of their stomachs. 

"Did I say you could stop moving?" Leo bites down a little harder than last time, tongue flicking over the sensitive bud and making Izumi moan. "Am I distracting you too much?"

"Feels good," he mumbles, trying to rub his cock on Leo's abs as the other man laughs. 

"Oh, no. You don't get to come until I let you," Leo tells him firmly, biting beside Izumi's nipple this time. "You're _mine_ , Sena."

"Fuck," Izumi shivers, the possessive tone making him submit completely. "Yours, Ou-sama. Always," his voice sounds thick and when Leo looks up at him he can see the other man's eyes are wet. 

"I'm glad," Leo lies back again, giving Izumi room to move. "Make me come and I'll give you permission," he purrs, his tone completely contradicting the fact that he's almost crying, but that's just Leo. 

He's _always_ been a massive contradiction, and he's confusing and selfish and completely oblivious sometimes but Izumi wouldn't want him to be any other way. 

Izumi puts all of his focus into making sure Leo feels everything, lifting his body until Leo's cock almost slips from his body before bearing down again. Leo bites his lip, tossing his head back and letting out tiny gasping breaths as Izumi moves his hips more quickly. 

He knows neither of them will last long, not when it's their first time, but he wants to get everything he can out of this in case...

Well. 

In case it doesn't happen again, because Leo's reassurances still aren't something he can trust.

Not yet. 

He changes the angle he's moving at somewhat, toes curling when Leo's cock finally nudges his prostate. "Fuck, Sena, I’m..."Leo clutches at him, fingers digging into his skin and his body writhing when he comes. 

Izumi keeps circling his hips, working Leo through his orgasm until he lets out an almost-pained whimper. If anything, he looks even _more_ beautiful now, skin flushed and hair everywhere and green eyes more brilliant than ever. 

"Need some help?" he tries to be flippant, but he's gasping for breath and Izumi can feel him trembling. 

"Touch me. _Please_ ," Izumi begs, hips pumping against nothing, craving friction. It's almost painful, but at the same time having somebody actually control his body like this is only heightening his arousal. 

Leo thankfully takes pity on him, but he barely has to touch Izumi's cock to have him coming with a gasp, clinging to Leo's neck. He’s fucking crying _again_ , which shouldn’t even surprise him by this point, but by the way Leo's breath is catching he has a feeling that Leo is, too. 

At least, until Leo starts to laugh, and Izumi somehow ends up joining him and then he’s not even _sure_ anymore whether they’re laughing or crying. 

It doesn’t matter, though, because they're together, and Leo's still inside of him and all around him and if this is the only time Izumi ever gets with him it'll be okay. 

Because he'll remember it forever.   


000

  
"You're still worried I'm going to run away."

"Huh?" Izumi sits up, the blankets falling to his waist with the movement. Leo's perched in the windowsill, seemingly uncaring now that he's naked and anybody looking up from the street could see him. 

"You are, right?" Leo turns back, green eyes reflecting the moonlight. His smile is sad, contemplative, and Izumi wonders what exactly is going on in his head at that moment. 

"Well, when you keep talking about aliens..."

"Sena,"Leo laughs, hopping off of the sill and crossing back to the bed. He digs around in the nightstand for something before standing upright and seating himself on the edge of the mattress. 

He'd insisted Izumi take a shower and have something to eat and drink after they'd finished, and while it had been a chore to drag himself to the bathroom, he _did_ feel better for it. Right now, though, he's exhausted and all he really wants to do was snuggle up with Leo and fall asleep. 

He'll still be sore in the morning, probably, but he's not in any pain now and he knows Leo will take care of him. 

...if Leo’s still there, that is. 

"Mm," Leo looks like he's concentrating, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth as he fiddles with something between his hands, and when he holds up a piece of rope with a loop tied into it Izumi's mostly just confused. "Here. Hold out your wrist."

"What's this?" Izumi blinks, his eyes going wide when Leo slides his fingers between Izumi's and tightens the loop with his free hand so that their wrists are tied together. "No, you don't..."

"That way I can't leave without you knowing," Leo looks rather proud of himself but Izumi's still staring at him in shock, and eventually he notices. "What's wrong?"

"You...you shouldn't..."

"What? Tie myself up? Why not?" Leo shrugs. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"But I..." Izumi pauses, glancing at their joined wrists and holding Leo's hand a little more tightly. "Isn't it...weak?"

"Is that what you feel?" Leo asks softly, nudging his nose against Izumi's. "It's not. Everybody needs different things, you know? If it feels good and it helps you, that's all that matters."

"You'd actually want to?" Izumi wraps his free arm around Leo's waist, holding him close. 

"Mm, why not?" Leo laughs, running his thumb over Izumi's collar. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love that it helps you...that _I_ help you...but I'm not going to pretend you don't look really fucking hot when you're tied up," he smirks and Izumi hides his face against Leo's shoulder. "Izumi?"

"Yeah?" he looks up, hoping his cheeks aren't too red, but Leo's never really used his name before tonight so he knows it has to be important. 

"I love you," Leo says, his eyes locked with Izumi's. "Not in the way I tell everybody I love them, either," he adds, even though it's not necessary because Izumi _knows_.

"Idiot. I love you, too. Leo," he murmurs, Leo's name feeling strange on his tongue, but right now they're not a king and his knight: they're just two young men falling in love and figuring it out together the best they can. "And you'd probably look ridiculous tied up."

"Right," Leo throws his head back and laughs, knowing as well as Izumi does that he really means the opposite. He kisses Izumi again, still laughing, and Izumi presses himself close and smiles against his lips. 

They fall asleep curled against each other, hands entwined, and Izumi's last conscious thought is that, in this moment, he might be happier than he's been in his entire life.   


000

  
He doesn’t feel quite as charitable the next morning when they're woken up by the rest of Knights showing up with a bag full of breakfast sandwiches and a 'celebratory cake.'

Izumi throws a pillow at them, not getting any help from Leo who's laughing so hard he nearly falls off the bed and pulls Izumi with him, and he thinks if it's possible to die of shame he might just do that - especially after Ritsu asks sleepily if 'we're _sure_ Ou-sama isn't a vampire, too,' while looking at Izumi's neck. 

Eventually they leave the bedroom, Arashi giving them a wink and promising that they'll wait in the kitchen, and Izumi flops back onto the bed with a loud groan. 

"I hate them."

"Uh-huh," Leo gets his mirth under control and stretches out on the bed, leaving Izumi to admire his naked body in the daylight. "Should we join them?"

"Probably," he concedes, running his fingers through Leo's messy hair. "But afterward..."

"Yeah," Leo grins, bringing their still-tied hands to his lips and kissing Izumi's knuckles. 

Izumi watches him fondly, feeling nothing but content and sated, and he knows that he doesn't have to worry. 

Between Leo and the others, he'll always have people to take care of him, and for the first time he’s maybe starting to believe that he's _not_ just a burden that’s causing them trouble. 

"Come on, Sena! Don't look so moody! Cake!" Leo jumps on him and Izumi tries futilely to push him off, complaining about sugar and empty calories, but he knows he won't feel _too_ guilty about breaking his diet today.

After all, if he's thinking the same thing Leo is, they'll have _plenty_ of opportunities to burn those calories later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we've come to the end of this little fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and I might come back to this 'verse at some point because...well...there's a lot of 'one days' ;)
> 
> Let me know what you thought, and thank you to everybody that's commented/talked to me about this fic! And if you want to follow me or say hi on [twitter](http://twitter.com/_mikarashis), feel free to do that as well.


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